Alone Time: What Does It Do?
Alone Time Gives Us Time to Reflect
One of the first things we are told when we encounter some sort of mental or emotional distress is to do one thing.
Talk to someone.
Now I’m not saying talking to someone doesn’t have its advantages. It absolutely does, and I will get to that soon enough.
But there’s something to be said about….dealing with it alone.
Sounds rather dark, weary or moody, but there can be good things about it(and bad things as well, let’s make it clear). Still, I think many people often neglect the advantages of dealing with something alone.
So providing you take the situation in the right way, what are the advantages of dealing with something alone?
Less Unwanted Noise
When others try to help us, most of the time, it’s for reassurance. To reassure that everything will be ok and that they are always there for you. But in some instances, the amount of noise that occurs due to the sheer number of people helping you can cause disorientation. There are too many cooks trying to settle down the boiling dish in the kitchen.
When alone, this noise goes away. The only person you can talk to is yourself. And so, there are fewer distractions. You can perhaps have more significant space to think about something rather than trying to squeeze into a crowd. It provides a certain kind of clarity only being alone can provide.
It’s not for everyone, but I think it’s also applicable to enough people worth mentioning.
Time
Arguably the most significant advantage of dealing with something alone, especially when it comes to something like death or loss, is time. Often people will persuade you into moving on from something before you’re really ready to.
They’ll try forcing you into doing things or otherwise participating in activities to get you to feel better. In some cases, this can be extremely good for you, such as rehab.
But again, in the case of death or some sort of significant loss, it will take a certain amount of time which varies from person to person. It’s never the same for everyone, so while others may think that it’s time enough, perhaps in your heart, you know that it isn’t.
We all deal with grief differently, and when dealing with it alone, we tend to give ourselves a more generous amount of time.
However, it should be noted that this shouldn’t be exploited to never move on. Some people give themselves an indefinite amount of time as an excuse to never truly recover.
All of us should recover at some point or the other. Yes, we all take different amounts of time to deal with something, and you only know what’s the perfect amount of time you need. But at the same time, you’re the only one who knows when the time you’ve given yourself is far too much and is only an excuse to never fully recover from something.
That’s all up to you, and nothing I say can change that.
Reflection
Alone time gives us time to reflect. It allows one to think about matters without getting tunnel vision due to the number of people involved. Calmly reflect more precisely.
I am of the camp who thinks that reflection often yields the best results in many scenarios. It teaches us more about ourselves in a way no one else can. So allowing time to reflect helps us cope better. This is really an advantage branched out of the time. Pretty self-explanatory and straightforward, I would say.
Non Judgmental Space
There’s no one to judge or criticize you when you’re alone. While sometimes it’s great to get constructive criticism or feedback, sometimes it can be disheartening. It really depends on the Kind of person you’re talking to.
Sometimes you just need…to try out something without getting all the overbearing opinions in the world. So being alone can help massively with that. It can provide a space where only you make the limits for yourself. It can help with coping.
The Main Drawback
I have talked a lot about how there is gain by being alone. And I believe everything I said. However, there’s also one main disadvantage here. And it’s something you should try to avoid.
What is that exactly?
Self Imposed Guilt or Self Loathing.
We tend to place blame or guilt on us, and when alone, that only increases exponentially as time goes on. We almost start to hate ourselves in a way. Even in cases where we did nothing wrong, other factors most likely led to this. Even if it is your fault. We tend to be self-loathing and hateful of ourselves. We do not place any importance on improvement or growth in any meaningful way. It won’t lead to anything and is just unwanted negativeness.
That’s an unfortunate reality for many, and it’s in these cases where others such as family and friends can be incredibly comforting. Provided you talk to the right people, they can help with that feeling.
